yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
