apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
