week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
