...so i touched it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
