Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
