Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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