wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
