I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
