I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
