Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
