exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
