You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
