It's like a parade of train wrecks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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