Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
