Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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