Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
