Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
