i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
