That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
