We're facebook friends in real life
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
