Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we have pet lesbian snakes
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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