I am puke
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
