haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Nicole vs. Life
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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