That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
