My hand turned me down
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
