Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
