Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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