I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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