I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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