So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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