Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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