she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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