I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
