all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
