Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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