I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
