so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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