Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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