what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
PANTIES FOUND
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