I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
