You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
