I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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