Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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