Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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