we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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