You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
