The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
