So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
