there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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