Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
